Better Is Not So Far Away

Introduction: Landing on Life

Are You Asking?

This Is Not a “How to Recover” Book

A Word about Therapy

Part One: Hurting

1. Inside Emotional Pain

The Deep End of Despair

Tired All the Time

Killing the Pain

The Edge of the Ledge (Where Does It Stop?)

2. Alone in the Woods

Your Angry Heart

When You Feel Worthless, Pitiful, and Lonely

You Can Find Self-Worth

Fear and “What If I’m Empty Inside?”

Good Grief

3. If You’ve Been Hurt or Abused

4. Who Are You?

You Are Not Nothing. Really.

Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Cold

Whose Fault Is This?

Get Out of My Food and My Money—I Think

Great Expectations

Still a Kid

Part Two: Healing

5. Maybe I Don’t Want to Recover

Seriously Stuck and Stubborn

Gathering Your Personal Truths

Imagine If

Why Am I Here?

The Great Wait Debate Decisions, Decisions)

Drop Your Weapons

6. Finding the Willingness

Rebel with a Cause

Okay, I’m Listening

Functioning Fine, Thanks

Please Don’t Talk to Me about Feelings

Except for Me

Cooks in the Kitchen

Call Me George

Helping Your Helpers

7. Who Are Your Real Friends?

Choosing Between Sharing Razors and Jelly on Your Toast

So Who Needs Friends Anyway?

Making It Happen

Skinnier Than You

8. Parenting Your Parents

They, Too, Have a Story

Surviving the Storms

New Words and New Ways

9. A Separate Peace

Who Are These People?

Moving Out

So It Must Be Me

Part Three: Tools for Life

10. A Wise and Gentle Mind

At the Intersection of Emotional Pain and Recovery

Meeting Your Self

Back Talk

Clappers in the Closet

You Need Credit and Encouragement

Your Side of the Street

Mean

11. Mind Trek

Besties in Your Head

Vermont

12. Tell Your Story

Talk

Revenge Alternatives

Write On

Color Your World

Move It

13. The Heart of Our Matter

Vacation Days

Do Your Work

Your Personal Creed

Protectzia

Gratitudes and Victories

Nourish Yourself and Others

Boot Camp

Sitting Still

Part Four: A Better Place to Be

14. Good God, Really?

When You Feel Huge

But List

Prayer

15. Everlasting Starting Points

Fish Is Fish

Forgiveness

Self-Forgiveness

16. Hope Forward

Taking Fun Seriously

Relapse, Retrauma, and Remembering

Passionate about Life

Comfortable in Your Skin

Resources

Index

When your parents, friends, or partner tell you what you should or should not do to "get better," do you think, "They just don't get it"?

Melissa Groman gets it. As a therapist, she has spent twenty-five years helping young women who binge, starve, and physically harm themselves to heal and recover. In Better Is Not So Far Away, she combines her experience, wisdom, and compassion to help you see beyond your behavior, discover who you really are, and decide to change your life.

You might know that obsession, disordered eating, and self-harm won't ultimately make you feel better--but you haven't been able to stop.

Bridging the gap between what you feel and what you do, Groman explores raw emotional pain with a deep knowledge of the human psyche, including stories of those who have suffered, faced, and conquered self-destructive urges. "A life well-lived means more than just a lessening of symptoms," Groman writes. "It means a true shift in how you think and how you tend to your own feelings and thefeelings of others."

Dealing with family, friendships, emotions, and life itself--as well as food and body issues--can be complex and can get in the way of even wanting to recover.

When you clear away some of the emotional obstacles, it's easier to take practical steps to genuine reliefand healing. This book will help you do just that. It can be the first or next right step toward facing yourgreatest hurts and challenges in a practical, profoundly honest, and self-caring way. A healthy, happy lifemay seem impossible now--but, truly, it is not so far away.